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THE FOLLOWER: ‘Sounds of the Elmhurst Metra Station’ Review: The Silence Is Deafening

Published by Tyler Ptaszkowski on April 1, 2026

DISCLAIMER: This article is part of The Leader’s satire issue, The Follower, which released on April 1, 2026.

Ever attend a play at the Mill Theatre, full of excitement and whimsy, overpriced popcorn in your lap, only to be constantly distracted by the passing Metra trains nearby? Worry no longer.

Elmhurst University’s latest student-directed production, “Sounds of the Elmhurst Metra Station,” remedies this predicament by removing any distracting actors, props, backdrops, and lights, allowing audience members to focus solely on the passing trains.

The Leader’s staff was granted the privilege of attending the play’s most recent performance (not for free, but we appreciate it nonetheless).

The audience members remained starstruck in silence throughout the performance, waiting on the edges of their seats for the bells and whistles of each approaching train.

At one point, we thought a train wasn’t coming. But then it did.

Riveting.

Naturally, the play concluded with a standing ovation, sobbing from multiple audience members, and repeated calls for an encore. The audience members subsequently exited the Mill Theatre and walked in tandem to the Elmhurst Metra Station, where they proceeded to applaud, cheer, and throw roses onto the tracks. (Impromptu curtain call, anyone?)

“It was an honor to watch the play, but it’s a much greater honor to be interviewed by Elmhurst University’s award-winning student paper, The Leader,” an audience member with no provable affiliation with The Leader told us after the play’s most recent performance.

Although every performance for this masterpiece of a play has been sold out thus far, as of publication time, there may still be a few tickets available for the final performance on the night of April 31.

In a probably unrelated note, the Elmhurst Metra Station is closed until further notice due to a sudden unusual number of roses on the tracks.

(CORRECTION: It has recently been brought to the attention of The Leader’s staff that April 31 does, in fact, not exist. The Leader deeply regrets this error, and moving forward, we will do our absolute best to get our shit together.)

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