THE FOLLOWER: Leader Staff Kidnapped, “The Follower” Takes Reigns

DISCLAIMER: This article is part of The Leader’s satire issue, The Follower, which released on April 1, 2026.

The Leader’s editorial board was kidnapped in the early hours of April 1 in an unprecedented move by bizarro world newspaper “The Follower.”

In a move panned by The Leader board members, but praised by nearly all else, the bizarro staff has commandeered the Leader’s office and will be printing new issues effective immediately.

“We want to make sure that only the finest, most accurate, and hardest hitting news reaches the streets. Not the hack job these ‘leader’ losers have been pumping out,” said The Follower’s editor in chief, Peeing Burpy.

Despite his captivity, Leader editor in chief Ian Murphy claimed that everything is under control, and this change is only temporary.

“The Leader will be back next Tuesday, April 7, with a regular issue. These bizarro-world writers will run out of steam soon enough.”

Little is known about The Follower and their origin, though their appearance may have been motivated by strange and mystical storms in the area.

As early as March 26, rampant thunderstorms have generated strange happenings on campus and wacky antics from EU’s leadership and notable figures.

“Times are changing, we need to change with them,” says Burpy. “We must follow in the footsteps of the magic storms and ensure our campus is prepared for when they finally depart.”