THE FOLLOWER: EU Party Planned to Have “Nuclear” Vibes

DISCLAIMER: This article is part of The Leader’s satire issue, The Follower, which released on April 1, 2026.

Impending nuclear war may scorch the sky and block out sunlight, wiping out livestock, and reducing the global population from 8 billion to tens of millions. With the issues currently facing humanity, it seems there’s even a likelihood of the population dropping to zero within a year.

Considering there isn’t much time remaining for humanity, and the struggles society faces are motivating younger people to throw parties, Elmhurst University students have decided to throw a big blowout to have fun while they still can. To include every student in the festivities, they are planning a massive party in the Frick Center cafeteria, equipped with a DJ, blaring strobe lights, and a smoke-filled room to fit the theme of nuclear winter.

The student body acknowledged that it may seem bleak to host a rager themed around imminent doom. However, they said that it’s best to embrace the future and make a joke out of it. They added that when having such a joyous time with the people you care about, the world’s problems will disappear for the time being.

So, if you want to have a great time with your friends and peers before the impending demise, Elmhurst University welcomes you to its nuclear winter party.