Elmhurst Is Small, but Seriously, Where the F*** The Function?

A student plays bags at EU’s homecoming tailgate on Oct. 4. Homecoming is typically the largest and most involved “function” on campus. (PC: Star Herring)

As a new transfer student here at Elmhurst University, I was already aware of the fact that EU was not– by any means– a party school. But why?

EU’s party scene, or lack thereof, pushed me to pose the question: ‘Where the f**k is the function?’

What are the students doing to have fun? Something has to be going on… right?

I started asking questions. In general, professors I talked to gave me the PG answer. Something along the lines of, “oh, EU hosts tons of social events for students! They’re great!”

But that’s not the type of function I’m referring to. The school-organized events have faculty members supervising, and the vibe resembles that of an 8th grade dance. Not what the average person thinks of as the “college experience.”

After asking more questions and apprehensively approaching people, I was successful in learning how and where these parties were happening. But by the time it came around, they were either shut down by the police or something happened, causing the party to become a dud.

I had multiple conversations with EU students about why and how this phenomenon is happening. Taylor Rush, a senior here at Elmhurst, had this to say:

“I’ve been asked by people who live on campus if I’m going [to a party] and I never know what they’re talking about,” Rush said. “Even if you want to go, you have to know someone or someone has to bring you there. If you’re old enough, the best option is definitely the bars.”

Taylor interned in the Office of Student Involvement, so I asked her if she thought the school-organized events helped create a social space for students here. She mentioned that homecoming and the St. Patrick’s day parade can be fun, but didn’t mention much else.

She went on to say, “When I go out with my friends, I usually go up to my friend’s school in Wisconsin. There’s really just not much here.”

It’s become fairly obvious that most of the students here at Elmhurst, especially the commuters, choose somewhere else to go out and socialize with their friends.

Another student, Louie Ardila, said something very similar, “I wouldn’t even recommend going out around Elmhurst. I always go to the city. Most commuters aren’t going out around here because there’s better places to go, like Normal and Champaign.”

This isn’t news to most people. Why would people waste their time trying to go out at EU when the night will just end up being a dud? The answer is they won’t. People already commuting might as well go to the city, or another college town, and their friends who live on campus can tag along.

It’s hard to feel a genuine want to even go to the bars around here since I grew up less than 15 minutes from campus. It becomes less appealing when the bars that are popular among students here are the same bars my family goes to. It becomes something other than an “EU bar.”

EU’s functions are scarce and short-lived. Yet, I do think the boost of a social scene here at Elmhurst would positively impact student life in a lot of ways. For both commuters and on-campus residents.

Hypothetically: the more parties happening, the more people talk about how fun Elmhurst is. This causes more students to want to attend Elmhurst, bringing more money to the school. Which, in turn, fixes issues like crappy food, poor WiFi, and the awful parking situation.

I don’t know, it’s just a thought.