Kevin’s Journal: Is Gen Z Going About Relationships the Wrong Way?
Looking around on our campus sometimes feels as though everyone is in a loving romantic relationship, and the chances of finding someone for you is bleak. It is hard being single in college and feeling as though you are the only person who has never been in a relationship or even gone on a date, but this mindset is a problem with a lot of people within our generation and if we do not fix it, we could have a lot of problems as a generation.
According to the Match Group, “Gen Z’s hesitation isn’t about a lack of belief in love. It’s about the tremendous pressure they feel toward relationships. Only 37% describe their parents’ relationship as ‘happy’ compared to 52% of Boomers, and three-quarters want to avoid divorce at all costs, leading many to believe they must be fully ‘ready’ before committing.”
While we cannot blame all of our relationship problems on childhood trauma or parents getting divorced, it is definitely a precursor for our problems. People in our generation are scared of repeating the fights their parents had, and in order to avoid a toxic relationship or a fight leading to a divorce or breakup, we just run away from relationships all together. We come from a generation where you can create a romantic relationship with an AI chatbot or someone you meet online, so why would we leave this “safe” relationship just to find someone in person who might hurt us?
Of course, these types of relationships are very unrealistic because of the lack of conflict. While all relationships have some conflicts — after all, that is one of the major ways that you test your love for your partner — conflict is already a sore subject for Gen Z. A lot of us would rather avoid these types of situations in friendships and romantic relationships, but it makes advancing ourselves in these areas very hard if we only avoid conflict.
Gen Z also has a unique problem and it is a problem that I see within myself, which has sometimes made it difficult to advance my friendships or even romantic opportunities. According to a Yahoo poll, 55% of Gen Z say fear of cringe has prevented them from opening up to someone emotionally.
This fear, for me, has stopped me from approaching people who I could have a relationship with, because I am worried that I might show them my authentic self, which could be viewed as “cringy.” When it comes to saying something cringeworthy or just overall embarrassing we would rather be closed off from those who love us than possibly harm the relationship by saying the wrong thing.
A not-so-Gen Z-specific trend is making a big comeback, and we are embracing this as a very real form of relationship. This trend is, of course, situationships, and this allows us to create relationships without labeling anything, or depending on the other person because of what they give us, whether it be physical or just having someone to talk to. These types of relationships can be very harmful, especially if one member desires a stronger connection than just a situationship.
According to the BBC, “A situationship is an informal arrangement typically between two people that has components of both emotional and physical connection, yet operates outside the conventional idea of being in an exclusive, committed relationship.”
It is hard growing up in this environment let alone trying to find a long-term relationship with rules changing and people looking for more short-term relationships. This of course is not to say people who practice situationships are wrong for the way they go about relationships. If situationships are what make you happy, please, go about your business; I just worry it is a lot easier to get hurt in these types of relationships.
Look around you, talk to your friends, give someone who never thought about a chance at a conversation. This is not a call to lower your standards, of course; just open your eyes to the world, because who knows, maybe the person who is not your “type” may be just what you need.
