THE FOLLOWER: President VanAken to Host “How to Properly Party” Course

DISCLAIMER: This article is part of The Leader’s satire issue, The Follower, which released on April 1, 2026.

In alignment with a new directive set out by Elmhurst University President Troy VanAken, a new class will be joining the EU catalog this fall.

VanAken annually hosts Elmhurst University’s Presidents Ball, an event that offers complimentary beers for those legally allowed to consume alcohol in the U.S.

VanAken’s decision to host this event was made with aims to promote the party culture at Elmhurst. He believes the promotion of parties will bring in the “right kind of students” and in turn, more attendance.

According to the President however, campus activity has declined in recent years. Per a press release sent by VanAken, “This ends now.”

In the new class, PTY-114, students over the age of 21 will have the opportunity to sample wines as well as a wide variety of light beers.

The course runs fall and spring semesters in two sections, both taught by VanAken himself at his home on Cottage Hill Ave.