THE FOLLOWER: Elmhurst University Cuts Budget: Renames to Elmhurst College
DISCLAIMER: This article is part of The Leader’s satire issue, The Follower, which released on April 1, 2026.
Elmhurst University’s board of trustees, in a snap decision over the weekend, decided to cut funding for masters programs and officially rename back to Elmhurst College.
The decision follows a hemorrhaging of money, according to the board of trustees, primarily from expenditures on overseas vacations and “recruiting visits” by an unnamed member of the school’s administration.
College President Troy VanAken did not respond to a request for interview, but chief of staff Britney Heald noted he would be expediting his return from a recruiting visit in Nepal to make a statement in the near future.
At this time, the trustees have not noted any other significant changes to EC operations. All staff members will stay employed and without pay cuts, but as part of the transition, may see re-assignment to the nursing program in an effort to streamline the college’s academic offerings.



