THE FOLLOWER: Campus Begins Ticketing Facilities Vehicles

DISCLAIMER: This article is part of The Leader’s satire issue, The Follower, which released on April 1, 2026.

In an effort to reduce parking congestion and generate additional revenue, Public Safety has begun issuing tickets to Facilities Management vehicles parked on campus without parking passes. Campus vehicles are now required to be registered with a valid parking pass, which are purchased at Public Safety.

These include shuttle buses and box trucks, which are owned by the university, and are driven by employees, who have parking passes for their own vehicles as well. A parking pass costs $75 per semester, while a single parking ticket costs $25.
With this in mind, both students and employees who drive the trucks are wondering whether or not purchasing a parking pass is worth it, or if it’s better to just receive a ticket.