The lessons I learned in college about self-expression and discovery

GRAPHIC BY RACHEL FRATT

You always hear that college is the ideal time to explore aspects of yourself that you are curious about. College is just a phase, but your journey in discovering your gender and sexuality is not. 

Before I stepped foot on the Elmhurst University campus, I thought I had it all figured out, but soon I was enrolled in a self-discovery course that I am still taking.

The first lesson, it’s scary. That’s the first step, acceptance. This journey you are about to embark on is scary as hell, especially in the world that we live in today. 

It’s scary, but worth it. 

Make sure that you are taking time to find inner peace so that when the world around you gets chaotic, you can ground and validate yourself and your existence. 

Fear only is a distraction. It’s hard to feel safe, but trusting yourself and knowing what is right is essential when exploring your gender and sexuality.

Something I wish I did more was explore, which is the second lesson I learned. 

This may come as a shock to everyone who knows me, but I was afraid. I always spoke about how, “we just are at a tiny college, who cares?” Yet inside, I was constantly afraid and cautious of how others perceived me. 

This fear prevented me from exploring more than I wanted to. Now, I am ending my college journey full of regrets, and I want to make sure that others do not have the same regrets as me. 

Now is the time, even if it seems like it isn’t. Wear makeup, experiment with your clothing, kiss the person you think is attractive. The only person stopping you is you. 

If you want to do it, now is the time — do it before the opportunity fades.

Truly, who cares? You will never see most of these people again if they are judgemental.

The next lesson I learned is to surround yourself with people who are willing to be on the ride with you. 

It’s emotional. There are days when you wish you were invisible because you know everything is wrong. Make sure to have people around you that support you. They will pull you out of the mud, and put you back on the path of discovery. 

And the last and most important lesson, be selfish.  It’s something I wished I learned sooner.

You have to put yourself and your needs first. If something is not fulfilling your needs and wants in your journey, it is okay to voice that and get rid of that toxic behavior. 

Do not save your friendships only to ruin yourself in the process.

If you have a friend who is judgemental, get them out of your life sooner rather than later. You cannot have the people you surround yourself with be the judgemental ones. Know when to let people go, and accept that it’s for the better. 

As I am leaving college, I know that I did not make the most of it. I stayed stuck in my box, and struggled internally, just wanting for it to end. 

It never is too late to be undeniably you, even if you do not utilize your college experience to explore how you want to, know that one day, you will be able to freely be you. College is just a nice gateway. 

College is the most pivotal time in one’s life. While we are learning how to be adults, we are also learning so much about ourselves. 

Do not walk out with any regrets, make the most of it, and be true to yourself.