What college taught me about love

I went to college prepared to learn political science, psychology, and maybe how to become a master at beer pong. What I wasn’t prepared for was everything it taught me about love. 

Most of us have heard of the three love theory — how we’ll fall deeply in love three times throughout our lives at three different stages of our lives. As I sit here next to the third man I’ve ever loved (fingers crossed!) I realize college taught me my own version of the three love theory. 

It taught me that the three greatest loves we’ll ever experience don’t all revolve around a romantic partner; they’re with ourselves, our friends, and sometimes with someone really special. 

The first love college taught me about was the love I have for myself. We’ve all been through the phases where we lack self love and search for it through the attention of an old fling, or by posting a cute picture in hopes of getting a confidence boost. That boost lasts for a moment, but is always fleeting. 

College taught me that I’m the only one who knows how hard I persevere through midnight study sessions and six a.m. alarm clocks, long lectures, and even longer nights re-reading notes after work. 

It taught me how to be gentle with myself on the days that I can’t manage to make it to school and need a day to rest my mind. At the moment I didn’t realize it, but while I was learning how to write papers and solve equations, I was also learning how to love myself. 

How to love those hands that type my papers, the eyes that stay up late studying even when they’d love to get some sleep, the legs that carry me from class to class, and the brain that sometimes feels like my worst enemy, but still holds all the special things within it.

You can learn a lot about yourself under pressure, some great and some not so great. College taught me how to love both. 

The second love college taught me about is one of my favorites. It’s the love I have for my friends and the love they have for me. 

Life is always going to be full of heartbreaks and tough times, but the people who can make you laugh even when you have tears in your eyes are the ones who make life bearable. 

I know everyone says you’re supposed to love yourself before you can love anyone else, but I think I loved my friends first. It’s a special feeling when you have people rooting for you just because seeing you succeed makes them happy, which is something I realized surrounded by my best friends. 

We were headed out on a Friday night and they silently watched me race to finish my homework. They cheered me on as I anxiously made the close deadline from the backseat of the car.

College brought that to me, the moments of work and perseverance that aren’t fun, but friends that somehow make them the best nights of your life. 

The last love college taught me about is the love I share with my partner. 

Before college, I didn’t realize how important it was to set boundaries and be with someone that encouraged them, let alone respected them. I used to put other people and their goals first, often pushing mine completely to the side. 

College taught me that my goals are just as important as everyone else’s, and that if I’m with the right person we can work towards our goals together.

It taught me that good love, real love, wants that for you and loves you the same, if not more, through the long nights and early mornings. 

Learning to love yourself and others is a never ending process and it’s not always easy, it’s one that I know I’ll be working on forever. While everyone’s journey is different, I hope college brings you the same lessons in love that it brought me.