OCD is not about being organized

I sit in a plain white office, a teal cushioned bed to my left, with wax paper resting atop it. The sounds of nurses and doctors pacing between rooms helping other patients while I sit in the closed room, shaking and staring at my checkered vans.

I was about to tell my doctor that I struggle with obsessive thought patterns, also known as obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD. 

I craved a sympathetic response because terms like “OCD,” “depression,” and “anxiety” have become terms used to describe phenomena that are nowhere near a medically diagnosable mental illness.

I described a thought spiral to the doctor: I worry about getting in trouble (the obsession). And I will obsess over that thought for days, weeks, months. My family will give me reassurance (the compulsion), and it will only give me temporary relief. 

I will continually ask my family the same question “am I okay?” to the same response: “yes” until my obsession is replaced by a new obsession, and suddenly I can see the ridiculousness of my old obsession.

There are periods of time in which I will be trying to eat food and I have to stop eating in order to go through a thought spiral. Even if I am eating the most delicious sandwich in the world, I have to stop, torture myself through thought spirals, and then I can continue eating. 

A simple 15-minute dinner can take 30-45 minutes due to obsessions.

My experience is merely one example of this real-life mental illness. One woman gave a Ted Talk where she discussed her daughter’s OCD. The young woman would take two hours to make a five-minute drive home because she persistently believed she hit somebody with her car, and that she deserved prison time. 

This is OCD. 

Yet some people will say “I am so OCD” as they organize their closet by color, or, “My OCD makes me keep my room clean.” 

American media personality, Khloe Kardashian, coined the term “Khlo-C-D ” as a form of demonstrating her neatness and branding herself as such. These characterizations underrepresent the reality of this mental illness, which is crippling, deflating, and exhausting. 

“OCD” is not the only mental illness term that is overused and misunderstood. “Depression” is often used to describe an individual who is sad; this is not the case. Depression conveys feelings of worthlessness and numbness, occasionally making one unable to get out of bed upon sunrise due to worthless thoughts. 

“Anxiety,” is a term often used when describing an individual who is a little nervous. “I have anxiety,” those individuals say. But general anxiety disorder can push an individual’s mind to full-blown panic and the inability to live a pleasant life.

The terms describing mental illness are often used in describing ordinary emotions that healthy human beings experience. Such descriptions desensitize those words and do not allow people who experience mental illness to exclusively use them to describe their issues. 

Without exclusive usage of those words, sufferers merely look like attention seekers and exaggerators.

If you find yourself using such words as adjectives, consider what alternatives can describe your experiences with nervousness and sadness. 

Also think strongly about how your words describe your negative experiences. Do they exaggerate your experiences with stress? Can you find alternatives in describing your experiences? 

Use careful word choice when negativity occurs in your life. Leave terms like “OCD” to those who suffer from the illnesses they describe.