Finding my first love through tinder

Never would I have thought that my index finger would be the reason I found my first love. 

Online dating is scary; creating a profile to be judged by others is no easy task. Everything has to be perfect, from the pictures to the bio to even your favorite song. 

Swiping seems to be a whole new monster; while you fear the judgment of others, you are also judging everyone harshly to try to find the perfect match. 

I have always been fascinated with online dating platforms. I made my first Tinder account when I was 15, hoping to meet more people like me. I was not surrounded by any LGBTQ+ youth and I felt as if the only place I could find anyone was online through these apps. 

I did not want a boyfriend when I first downloaded the app, my main goal was to make friendships with other gay teens in my area. Of course I was far too young to really find anyone my age, so I gave up on dating platforms for a while.

No one realizes the privilege straight people have when it comes to having these experiences at a young age. Since they are surrounded by many like them, they are able to experience what the media feeds us of what a “normal” teenage experience is like. I too wanted a love story, but I was not allowed to have one.

I was so jealous hearing all my friends share stories about their first relationships, first kisses, and losing their virginity. I knew I was never going to have the experience I dreamed of, I only could live vicariously through others. 

As I got older, the desire to have a boyfriend only grew stronger. I was not going to find someone in my area so I returned to Tinder after two years, eager to have the summer of my life with my newfound love. 

Swiping again, this time with a set of new eyes, I was enamored with all the LGBTQ+ people on my phone screen. I only knew two other gay people when I graduated high school, so seeing so many in my area made me quite happy. 

While I did not have the summer of my dreams, it was the summer of many firsts for me. My first date also happened to be the same day as my first kiss, and truly after that day, I wished that I was able to have this experience at an earlier age. 

It felt almost embarrassing to finally start living at the age of eighteen, but it was a very monumental moment for me. I finally knew the joy of love, and it made me even more desperate to find Mr. Right. 

In May of 2020, after the first quarantine period, I was swiping everyday trying to find a boyfriend. After many weeks of swiping, I finally found someone. 

I am not ashamed I met my first boyfriend through Tinder. While I glanced at just a couple of pictures of him on my phone, I almost fell in love instantly and was so grateful we matched.

We had an amazing relationship, and we never would have met without Tinder. I instantly got butterflies, we started messaging more and more every day and eventually went on our first date. 

Within moments of him getting in the car, I knew that we were going to have a beautiful story. I finally was going to experience the love that all my peers told me about, and it was so much better than I could have ever imagined.

Nothing lasts forever and this story has sadly ended. I will forever be grateful for this experience, and I am thankful that the internet provided me with this amazing gift. It taught me so much, and now I know what I truly am looking for.

While finding love may be at the front of my mind while swiping on numerous dating apps, I also am looking for friendship. Since there are not many gay men around me, I am able to meet so many through these apps, and I have created some amazing friendships based off of a Tinder match.

Now, I am at an age where there are possible suitors almost everywhere I go, and at any moment I can look up and find the one. Still, I stay drawn to these apps to help me find new people every day. While my first story may have failed, another love story may currently be in writing, and I can thank it all for the glory that online dating has provided me.