Are You Tired of Halloween? Me Too

Are you tired of Halloween? Me too. First off, don’t get me started on the decorations. People ALWAYS buy the biggest skeletons, spider webs, and pumpkins. But WHY? What is the reason you need all of that — mind you, that’s only for the yard — we haven’t touched on the garage yet.

Why do we need a 50-foot, 3D plastic backdrop for our garage? Especially when it’s the skeleton “popping” out of the garage or the “oh-so-scary” clown faces.

Second, we have costumes. Why are all of you wearing the same fucking costume every damn year? Use your fucking brain and be original, please. It’s not hard to use those neurons.

Next, we have the people who think it’s okay to see a bowl of candy with a “take one” sign and then take the whole bowl. Are you too high on sugar, or are you feeling yourself too much?

Another thing with Halloween that has people in such a chokehold: THE CANDY. Why are we giving out candy corn? It’s just straight-up sugar, and disgusting.

Let’s all just leave Halloween behind us and get straight to Thanksgiving.